You Signed Up For This

Well Hello!

If you've somehow landed on this page and are currently reading this, you must have signed up for something of mine; whether that was subscribing to my blog or following me on social media, thanks for being here!

I've been saving this post for literally a year... unintentionally, of course, but as my blog revamp has been wrapping up, I've been thinking about what I want to say in my first post with the relaunch and deciding what day to do it on; this seemed like the most fitting.

Why is that, you ask?

On this day one year ago I went to the most favorite concert I have ever attended with my sister... Maisie Peters! I have no doubt that you did not know where this was going. Let me explain...

Maisie Peters has decidedly become one of my favorite artists for a few years. Her lyrics are brilliant, and the music always hits home. My sister introduced me to her, so I, unfortunately, have no right of credit for being the one who stumbled upon her genius. Her album You Signed Up For This had continued to be a non-stop listen for me, so when I discovered she would be coming to Utah in March of 2022, I knew I had to go, and I had to take my sister. The tickets were relatively inexpensive, so when they dropped in October of 2021, I jumped on them.

Maisie Peters music was the soundtrack backing many melancholy days as I adjusted to my new life after divorce. As I began dating again, her music was like that best friend rooting me on in the background for better or worse, through every extreme high and pit-in-your-stomach low.

Eventually, I stumbled upon someone I would be stuck on, permanently pausing the dating era and ever so slowly propelling me into the committed relationship era. If you're new around here, that would be my husband, David.

David and I were in one of those long-distance "are we dating? are we not?" relationships for a while. It then led to the "fine, we're not dating; we're just talking all time like people who date" phase, which then led to the, "I can't take this anymore we have to stop talking phase," which then led to the "hey can we start talking again, I've missed you" phase, leading to the 'face-timing every night for 4 hours phase', which led to "I love you.". You would think the natural next step would be that committed relationship phase, but it wasn't immediately. Don't worry; we eventually got there just a few months later.

Not long after this, the Maisie Peters album, 'You Signed Up For This,' came out. So many favorite songs came from that album, many resonating with me while dating David.

By the beginning of 2022, I was confident it had to be the year David and I were finally going to tie the knot, after all - we had only been seriously talking about moving forward with it since 2020. But of course, life gets in the way, and things need to be figured out, and David was still unsure if he wanted to "sign up for this". The first few months of the year were filled with serious conversations and deliberation about whether David and I would get married. By this point, we had been dating so long the alternative would be to go our separate ways if there was nowhere else we could go from there. Those months were filled with so many mixed and intense emotions. I was beginning to lose patience and, in my mind, had determined that by the time the Maisie Peters concert came around, if David hadn't made a decision, I would.

The week of the concert, things came to a head in David's and my conversations about our relationship. I went to bed the night before the Maisie Peters show, feeling like it was probably the end. But I promised myself to put all of our conversations and my fears in a mental box up on a shelf in my mind for the next day, so I could fully enjoy the concert with my sister the next day. Then I would take it down and face it all head-on the day after.

So my sister and I went to the concert and had the best time! We got there a little early and ended up standing in line for like 2-3 hours! Apparently, an electrician had shut off the electricity on the entire block while working on something. Despite the wait, it was still fun just being there in line with my sister. Maisie Peters walked up the alley where the line was to get to the venue, looked at my sister and me, and waved. Then she got the opening act (who was incredible, by the way) to play an acoustic set in the corner of the alley while we all waited. It was so cool and special to be standing in a circle around this opening act, so close, authentic, vulnerable, and listening to the raw, beautiful music.

At last, generators came on, it was pretty late at this point, but we weren't turning back. Everyone piled into this tiny garage of a venue. Maisie came out singing "You Signed Up For This" which is just such the iconic opening song and genius lyrical concept. It was magical. I scream-sang along to each song as she played and sang them, just so present and living in each moment.

And then there was... Volcano...

"All or nothing, you chose nothing, pulled the parachute and the ground came rushing".

As Maisie started singing the chorus, the words punched me right in the gut. That box I had shoved started to slip off the mental shelf and I felt myself fade into that broken-hearted main character girl vibe. I still sang along but realized that the lyrics were essentially the ultimatum I was giving David; and there was a very high potential of us becoming the "nothing".

As I let myself slip into my feelings and the song, I was pulled back into reality as I felt my phone start to vibrate in my hand while holding it up and waving back and forth. I looked at it and saw it was David calling, which seemed strange for the time and because we had agreed to take a day for space to think things through. I ignored the call since it was so loud in the venue, and he probably forgot I was there, but then he called again. I showed my sister and told her it seemed strange, especially for him to call twice in a row and that late at night. As I was yelling at her through the noise, I asked her what I should do and if I should call back to ensure everything was okay, and my phone lit up again. He was calling a third time. My sister and I looked at each other and nodded, agreeing that we needed to make our way out of the venue to take the call just outside.

As we began squeezing our way through the crowd, Maisie began playing "Brooklyn," a song written for her sister. It was one of my favorites on the album and always reminded me of my sister, who I was with, which made it one of the ones I was looking forward to hearing live the most. I felt torn and hesitated because I wanted to listen to it, but then David called again; which made me sure something was wrong.

We had just started to peek out of the crowd and cross from the 'indoor' part of the garage venue to the 'outdoor' part. I picked up the phone and yelled, "hello!" I heard an out-of-breath, frantic-sounding David on the other end, "babe, where are you??"

"If you're looking, if you're looking for the girl of your dreams, she's in Brooklyn with me, she's in [Salt Lake] with me..."

I could hear the words in the background, so excited about the song. Still, I tried to refocus my attention on the phone call as my sister watched me pace to find a spot I could hear better since we had been standing right next to the generator.

"I'm in Salt Lake at the Maisie Peters concert... remember??" "Oh yeah, that's right, I totally forgot," He let out a big sigh, "I'm on the balcony outside your room at your parent's house, and I can't get in, and I've been knocking." I was surprised but casually said, "oh... well yeah, I'm here in Salt Lake...". I could hear a nervous kind of confidence in his voice, "Okay, well, I didn't want this to be over the phone, but I know if I don't do this now, I'm going to chicken out, so I'm just going to say it..." In shock, I hung on to every word as he uttered it while awaiting the next. "I wanna marry you. I do. I'm so sorry it took me so long to get there, but I wanna marry you!" I know he said a bunch of other sweet things after that, but I couldn't really hear over how big my smile was after that first part. "Wait... what? Really?! Are you sure!!!" He reassured me repeatedly, and we both realized this was happening. We agreed we were both anxious to see each other. He started talking about coming to Salt Lake but realized the concert would be over by the time he arrived. My sister offered to leave the show early as she was sharing the excitement with me. I felt terrible and didn't want to leave only 30 minutes into the actual concert, but my life was changing, and I had been waiting for this for a long time, so we went.

As we got in the car, I told and retold the phone call to my sister. It was special. "I can't believe I just got essentially proposed to at a Maisie Peters concert!"

Cute story and all... but why share it now?

Great question! And there are a few reasons:

1. I love a good play on words/titles. You Signed Up For This seemed fitting for a relaunch of sharing different parts of my life on the interwebs with people who either subscribe, sign up, or follow.

2. It's a monumental story in my book that I've been wanting to share, and seeing as how it took place on March 23, 2022, that would make today precisely one year from that time.

3. This was an epic turning point in my life story. I had just bought a home for my boys and I, and was officially getting married to the love of my life. It was like so many different parts of my life had collided in more ways than I can share.

One year later, I sit in our home with my sweet boys who are settled into their new school and thriving in our new neighborhood. I'm married to the love of my life. So many things have happened in this last year. So many ups and downs. I'm still recovering from some of them and trying to figure others out.

Still, I can't wait to share some of the moments and lessons from this last year and on, in this blog as it helps me process where I am today and where I can go tomorrow. So stick around, and remember if you ever feel bothered...

You signed up for this ♡